The Importance of Understanding Introverts

I'm an introvert. Many who know me, may not have that perception of me. But it's true, I'm an introvert. I get my energy from solitude, reflection and from connecting in meaningful ways one on one or in a very small group of other humans, whom I know, respect, and who aren't afraid of being emotionally vulnerable. Can I do the extrovert thing? Sure. I have compensated most of my life, without knowing I was doing it, because of the way the world works. For the US, anyway, its roots are firmly in extroversion. Dale Carnegie gave rise to extroversion with his book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Over the decades, work culture and the perception of success have been fueled by the qualities of extroversion.

Allow me to generalize, extroverts have carried us to where we are today. In the western world where we speak without thinking, value self-promotion over what's best for the whole, take center stage without concern for the consequences, and value doing everything faster because it's perceived as superior, we have the extroverts to thank for this. Without the extroverts, we wouldn't be where we are today, which is on the precipice, slowly falling head first over the threshold into an era of introversion. You got us this far, extroverts, we'll take it from here, thanks. We still need you but you don't always have to be the boss.

From a leadership perspective, it's important to understand the value introverts bring to organizations, schools and groups. In her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, author Susan Cain shares, “I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they're good talkers, but they don't have good ideas. It's so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone seems like a good presenter, easy to get along with, and those traits are rewarded. Well, why is that? They're valuable traits, but we put too much of a premium on presenting and not enough on substance and critical thinking.” She continues, “Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”

After I read Quiet I understood my inner world, as well as the outer world, with much more clarity. I had a true Ah ha moment where I found the language to describe what I had previously known and experienced. This changed my behavior. I stopped downplaying the leadership strengths I bring to the table. I now take action in the ways that feel true for me in order to have a positive impact on others or the given situation. Most working environments don't naturally understand or embrace introverted ways of being, but yet are in deep need of their healing, and change-making, powers.

So find your place. Don't shy away from who you are as an introvert. These are the qualities that you bring to the world and that the world needs, now more than ever. Embrace your introverted nature whole-heartedly and find ways to share your observations, deep reflections, and ideas for action in ways that are true to who you are. Your sphere of influence will be better for it.

Other book recs:
The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strengths by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, PhD
Quiet Leadership by David Rock

Read Quiet, if you haven't already, but here are some additional Susan Cain Quotes to fill the void.